So we’re on the
home stretch now! In about 3 weeks, I will be home in sunny South Africa!
Praise God! I am so looking forward to some summer, since I’ve now had two
winters and am in desperate need of a tan. It’s going to be so good to actually
be home for Christmas this year, since my last one at home was in 2008!
Good gracious…
how to summarise everything that God has been doing in my heart? It’s
incredible. So over the last two years, I’ve felt like God has been tilling the
ground of my heart, breaking the hard parts a bit, chipping away at other
parts… and these last few months have been a lot of refinement. To use another
metaphor: it’s like He’s been doing home renovations and I haven’t been allowed
to see what’s happening inside, but now He’s taken me into the garage and we’re
going through some of the stuff He’s sorted through and wants to get rid of,
and He picks it up, shows me, and then I have the choice of whether to chuck it
or keep it.
 |
| Painted in November |
It’s so fascinating, because last year I
was blown away by how much more to God there was than I’d thought before, and
thought I had Him figured out a bit more, but He keeps surprising me and
blowing me away by the intricacies and vastness of who He is. It makes me so
excited, because I realise how little I know, and how much more there must
still be! Last year, I thought I had grown leaps and bounds, which was true,
but looking back, it was nothing compared to what’s happened recently. This gives
me such hope! The rest of my life will be filled with continually having my
mind blown and expanded by the infinite Creator of the universe, who has
redeemed and restored me. He makes all things new! And then those new things
get old, and He makes them new again to a whole different level. I thought I’d
experienced the depths of God, but then He took me even deeper, and deeper, and
continues to amaze me… I am so incredibly grateful for how gentle He is in how
He corrects, refines and restores me. He doesn’t go all at once or overwhelm me
– He goes little bits at a time, then revisits those things and takes them even
deeper still. He is so good!
One thing I
often find myself doing is losing perspective. I take my eyes off of Him, and
then get overwhelmed by what is around me and all the unknowns, and the things
that need to happen or that I hope will happen. Then He captures my gaze again,
and reminds me of who He is, what He’s done and His faithfulness to keep His
promises. The beautiful thing about revelation is that it’s impossible to get
prideful, because you realise how small you are, and how utterly huge and
magnificent and WOAH God is!
God has given
me some beautiful glimpses into what He has for me, and it honestly scares me a
bit, because I don’t know if I can do it, but that’s the point! I can’t do it!
I need Him! So often we only attempt things we know we can, but then we don’t
have the opportunity to trust Him or grow. I want to be stretched and grow! And
in order to do that, I need to attempt great things with and for God. I need to
do things that I can’t do, by relying on His power. God has been challenging
and re-defining my view of success. It’s one of the things that cause such
great anxiety and fear, because we feel like we’ll fail or not do it well
enough. This is because we make it all about us and how well we do it. Take
evangelism for example: if our motivation is to save people, then we’ll never
be satisfied, especially if we don’t ‘convert’ anyone. But it isn't us that
saves people – God does. So how do we measure our success? God measures it by
obedience. That takes so much pressure off of me! If I’m being obedience to
what He asks of me, then I’m successful in His eyes. Jesus couldn’t and didn’t
heal everyone or preach to everyone. He said that He only did what He say the
Father doing, and said only what He heard the Father saying. He couldn’t do it all;
else He would have burnt out – same story with us. Often we think we need to
and have to do it all. God doesn’t need us – He chooses to include us because
He loves us and wants to bless us with the amazing opportunity to share His
love with others and build His Kingdom. Faithful people will be instructed with
more – this is why obedience is so important. It is the essence of Biblical
submission – coming up under to support and build up those in authority, and
thereby having access to all that they have access to. It’s a beautiful thing
that has sadly been so warped by the enemy.
That’s another
thing God has been pointing out – how many things we avoid or write off as
evil, simply because they have been warped for evil use, but if used for and
through the power of the Holy Spirit, they are so beautiful and good! We are so
scared of evil and legalism and sin, that we avoid it even more – like the
Pharisees that built walls around the laws to prevent themselves from getting
anywhere close to breaking the laws of God. In so doing, they missed the heart
of the laws. If we focus on the sin, we are often consumed by it, but if we
focus on the face of God, we are transformed into His image. You become what
you behold and worship.
 |
| Angie and Nathan with our Thanksgiving turkeys |
Enough
preaching for now. Some things that you could be praying for: the last few
weeks here – I really want to dig in and get all that I can out of this school.
I don’t want to waste a day! Please also pray for my time back home, since it
may be short due to coming back to join staff here at YWAM Denver (more
information to come). Please pray for God to prepare the way before me for
that, and against any spiritual attack that may come against this. Please also
pray for the Dollar/Rand exchange rate – I want to see it drop to around R6-$1
(it’s currently around R8-$1). Please pray for the outreaches that are leaving
off of this quarter at YWAM Denver – going to Haiti, Thailand, Brazil,
Nicaragua and Honduras.
May God bless
you so richly for your faithfulness and obedience to Him, and give you more
opportunities to exercise your faith and grow with Him.
In faith, hope and love
Janine
No comments:
Post a Comment