faith like a child...

This week is child protection week. Maybe it seems strange to you that we should have a week to focus on this, but it really does make so much sense. Children are so teachable and believe so easily, and are therefore vulnerable and also exactly what we should be.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of very hurt people who weren't loved when they were a child, and so end up hurting other people. Hurt people hurt people. This is why it is so important to love our children, to protect them, because in doing so, we protect the rest of humanity. Children learn and watch and absorb. They follow and believe whoever has the dominant role in their life. We need to be so careful. It is such an amazingly beautiful responsibility and privilege to teach a child how to live, because you are creating the future.

The beautiful thing about kids is their heart and faith. They are so teachable, so loving, caring, inquisitive, joyful and free. They haven't learned how to fear or doubt or lie or hate. They don't know the concept of boredom, greed or pride. They learn that from us. I think it's fascinating and beautiful that Jesus tells us to have faith like a child in order to get into the Kingdom of Heaven. We need to believe with that same teachable, joyful, free spirit without fear, doubt, pride or anger. We lose so much when we grow up - we forget how to really live and how to really have joy and really be free. We busy ourselves and worry and do. When we were kids, there was joy in just being, and everything was a game and therefore fun! Nothing was impossible - we just needed help from out parents or friends.

Our Father's Kingdom is just like that. Life is meant to be fun and joyful and free... We are meant to attempt the 'impossible' with His help and resources. But it's not about the accomplishment or the doing - it's about the journey, the adventure, the relationship. He wants us to have fun and enjoy life with Him.

We need to have faith like a child... God, we believe - help our unbelief! Un-teach our skewed perceptions of You and the world, and teach us Truth again. Increase my faith, so that I may see Your face.

on paint and decisions...

So I've been thinking a lot recently... about my life, about what I'm going to do.

April wasn't the best month for me. My opportunity to go back to Denver came and went, and the stubborn little girl in me stomped her foot and folded her arms with a bit of a sulky face. I had my room to re-do, which took longer than expected, but is finally done, and looks rather wonderful I must say.

I really struggled to decide what colour/s to paint it. Someone recommended mushroom to me, and I thought 'what the heck, it's safe, neutral, expected, and comes recommended'. Whilst out looking for paint, I couldn't find the 'mushroom' I was looking for, so decided to try different random paint combinations. Ended up with a chocolate brown, dark teal and bright red as well as various shades of beige/mushroom ish colours. I put a little swab of each up on a section of the wall. Honestly, any of them  would have been fine... I just needed to decide which one and get on with it. I couldn't do anything else or make any other decisions (about bedding, curtains etc) until I had decided on paint.

Funnily enough, this felt like a metaphor for the rest of my life too. University was the safe, neural, well approved and recommended option. It was the plan, until I decided to go out and try something new, because I couldn't find the right course. Then I discovered YWAM, and it felt right, but was also rather bold and a little scary, and not quite so well thought of or understood by everyone I knew. Now I was facing that decision again: go back to YWAM and have a lot of people think I'm a little crazy, or go the safe route and go to university...

With the paint, I kinda liked the dark brown and a lighter teal more than the mushroom, but was scared, cause it was kinda bold, and a lot of people who I asked said it might be a bit much. But I liked it. It was different, and felt more like me. More adventurous, unique. I realised this one night: that I knew I had to make a decision in both areas of my life, and couldn't really do much else until that decision was made.

I ended up going for the dark brown and lighter teal. One wall chocolate, the other two a calming sea green/blue. Turned out really nicely. Oddly enough, I also decided that I'm going to go back to Denver for the School of Ministry Development (SOMD/Phase 2) in September. Tickets booked, decided.

It's actually amazing how great it feels to have finally made a decision. I guess part of me always hoped/knew that that was what I was going to decide, but the rest of me was freaked out because of what that actually entails and what will possibly result from this decision. It's super exciting and a little scary as well. As with all things God-related, faith is very much needed. I need to trust Him with this all, and not to worry about what will happen after this all.

I think it was really important for me to have been home for a while, to really weigh my options and reason for wanting to go back to Denver again. Yes, it will be wonderful to be back there with my other family, but it is so much more than that. I am more convinced than ever that this is going to be the stepping stone into the inheritance God has for me on this earth. Which is why I need this time at home too, to really get set deep and strong in Him before heading back out. I grew SO much last year, in many big ways. But honestly, this time at home so far has probably been some of the more trying months I've been through, and I've also noticed so much growth already. Not noticeable, but definitely a deepening, strengthening, assuring growth. It's really hard to describe, but it's so good.

There is so much more to write about this, but that can wait for another post... So may God bless you in amazing ways today, and make you aware of His presence. Open up your heart and mind to noticing where He is at work around you and join in!

revelation at 12.30am...

So last night/this morning, at 12.30am ish, this is what happened...

I was reading my devotional note things, and the question was asked: "Did God create us that we might love Him or that He might love us?" Seemed profound, so I posted it as my Facebook status, and as I did, it mulled around in my mind a bit. I thought maybe it was just one of those rhetorical questions to make you think, but then 1 John 4:19 came to mind: "We love because He first loved us". This made me stop and think...

So if we love, because He loves us, then we can't have been created to love Him, because our love is as a result of His love. Our purpose is to be loved by God. We love not out of duty, but in response to His love. This is probably why performance doesn't work. We can't earn God's love or approval or the joy that comes from being loved by Him. If our purpose was simply to love God and He'd love us in return if we got it right, then we'd get nowhere and have little joy or freedom or motivation, which is honestly the place that many people have ended up in as a result of this mindset that our purpose in life is to love God.

It's is such a subtle difference, but what if our purpose is simply to be loved by God and to let Him love us, and out of that flows the fulfillment, joy and freedom long for... It's something we cannot earn, rather need to learn to receive, and freely receiving, we freely give. Being loved so completely leaves little room or even thought of doing anything other than loving others as fully, that they too may experience His great love and the fulfillment and pure joy that comes.

This absolutely blows my mind! We were made to receive love, which is why we so often go looking for it in all the wrong places and aren't satisfied. Only His love will satisfy, because it is His love that we were made to receive and live in and live off of. His love is complete and perfect. He is love. His very nature, His character, His being... love personified, exemplified and crucified. It makes so much sense when you look at how screwed up the world is, and that the root of all of it is this very issue: we need God's love.

We were made to be loved by Him, and the only response possible when faced with such love is to respond in kind. I don't know if you've ever had a revelation or life-changing encounter with God's love, but if you had, you wouldn't be the same. You'd know what it's like to have to tell others, to share it, because it is just too wonderful to keep all to yourself. It's the kind of love that wants to be passed on and shared, because then it grows and flourishes and so many more people get blessed. It's one of those weird things about the Kingdom:  you only really get to keep what you give away. Part of the blessing of giving is seeing someone else experience what you got to experience, and encouraging them to share it too. It's contagious :)

I pray that God will completely blow your mind with a new and greater revelation of His love... that His love would become so real and overwhelming and huge that you can't help up have to want to share it, because you wan't contain it. Loving God who is Love, let Your love rain down on us, and help us to accept and receive Your love which You long so much to express. Thank You for Your love, and that we cannot earn it, only receive it and share it and love You back by doing so. Amen!