believing who God says He is...

Ok, let's see what I can manage to make sense of out of what's whizzing around in my brain at the moment...

So I'm doing a Bible study by Beth Moore on 'Believing God'. One of the things she focuses on right away is that believing God isn't a once off thing: it's a 'present active participle' - its continuously believing. This is faith - to continuously believe. It's a lifestyle of believing because God is.

Throughout the study, we look at 5 areas of faith: believing God is who He says He is, that He can do what He says He can do, that I am who He says I am, that I can do all things through Christ, and that the Word is alive and active in me. Woah! Take a bit of time, and just think about what those simple statements really mean... How often do we say we believe in God, but do we actually believe God in all those areas - believe what He says? After all, He is truth - He doesn't know how to lie!

When I think about it this way, it's no surprise to me that the church is thought of as hypocritical and why there are so many sleeping 'Christians' out there - because we've made the mistake that we just need to believe God exists, and not believe Him in His entirety and all that He says at truth. It's a bit of a mind job!

So we're only in the second week of teaching, but 3 weeks into the study - we take 2 weeks to do one week of teaching. Yes, that's how intense it is. This week is focused on the first principle: believing God is who He says He is. As I've had that going around in my subconscious, I've realised how much everything is affected by this. What you believe about God is the most important thing about you, because it changes everything. Not who you say He is, but who you actually believe Him to be deep inside, because you'll show this by how you live. I think that if we actually saw God in His entirety and perfection, this world would be such a different place! Imagine your average church worship service - a couple of people singing with their hands raises, but many people standing still in God's presence. If we actually were in the throne room of God and saw Him.... I don't think we'd be standing! I have no idea what we'd be doing, but I highly doubt it would be that.

Another thing I've found interesting is fear: we are afraid when we have misplaced our faith. Fear counteracts faith. So often we're scared of what will happen with our future and of letting go of stuff and trusting God - if you really look at why, we basically don't trust God. We don't believe God can handle it. Why? Because we don't believe that God is who He says He is.

That's just one example, but almost any issue or doubt or anything comes down to this. We don't really believe that God is who He says He is. It's absurd, because God doesn't lie. So why wouldn't He be who He says He is? I think we have a complex of always needing to be right, so when there is a conflict in what we believe and what is, we think that what is must be wrong, instead of examining ourselves. We need to challenge our faith - to figure out why we believe what we believe. After all, faith unchallenged is hardly faith at all, because faith is meant to grow, and how can it grow unless it is challenged and correctly rooted?

How similar is your view of God (what you really believe deep inside that is shown by how you live, not just what you say you believe) to who He says that He is in His Word?

God clearly says who He is throughout Scripture and in what He does around us every day. Creation declares His majesty and greatness - if we don't praise Him, the rocks will cry out. If you manage to believe that He created this world - that He spoke all of this into being out of nothing - then anything else really isn't all that hard for Him to do either. Sometimes we make the mistake of thinking that He was created for us - to do our bidding, to bless us and to take care of our loved ones; but we were made by and for Him - to do His bidding, to bless Him and to take care of His loved ones.

Messing with your mind a bit? I know my mind is in a bit of turmoil, as I examine my beliefs, why I believe them, where that idea came from, and whether it is Biblical - whether God is actually like that, or if I have been trying to make my own god - an image of god that fits what I think he should be like. Basically an idol. How hectic is that?? So maybe worshiping a god that we create or manipulate into how we think he should be or act is actually worshiping an idol who isn't God at all. Woah!

Some of these thoughts are things I'm still grappling with, so take it to God and ask Him to explain the truth to you. He says so many times in His Word that He will do this:

"Ask me and I will tell you remarkable secrets you do not know about things to come." Jeremiah 33:3

"Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you." Matt 7:7

"If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me" Jeremiah 29:13

Many of those verses deal with seeking and finding God, but God is Himself Truth (John 14:6 "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life").

My prayer is that you wouldn't be comfortable to just go with how things are, but that you'd challenge yourself and allow God to point out areas of unbelief in your life or where you have skewed perceptions of God. Take courage and allow God to align your view of who He is to the truth of who He says He is. God, please take the junk out of our eyes and hearts and minds, so that we can see You clearly. I want to see You as You are, with nothing of my own  ideas. I want to believe the Truth and to believe You to the fullest extent that I can. I believe, God, help my unbelief.

"I am the LORD and there is no other. I publicly proclaim bold promises. I do not whisper obscurities in some dark corner. I would not have told My people to seek Me if I could not be found. I, the LORD, speak only what is true and declare only what is right" (Isaiah 45:19)

faith like a child...

This week is child protection week. Maybe it seems strange to you that we should have a week to focus on this, but it really does make so much sense. Children are so teachable and believe so easily, and are therefore vulnerable and also exactly what we should be.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of very hurt people who weren't loved when they were a child, and so end up hurting other people. Hurt people hurt people. This is why it is so important to love our children, to protect them, because in doing so, we protect the rest of humanity. Children learn and watch and absorb. They follow and believe whoever has the dominant role in their life. We need to be so careful. It is such an amazingly beautiful responsibility and privilege to teach a child how to live, because you are creating the future.

The beautiful thing about kids is their heart and faith. They are so teachable, so loving, caring, inquisitive, joyful and free. They haven't learned how to fear or doubt or lie or hate. They don't know the concept of boredom, greed or pride. They learn that from us. I think it's fascinating and beautiful that Jesus tells us to have faith like a child in order to get into the Kingdom of Heaven. We need to believe with that same teachable, joyful, free spirit without fear, doubt, pride or anger. We lose so much when we grow up - we forget how to really live and how to really have joy and really be free. We busy ourselves and worry and do. When we were kids, there was joy in just being, and everything was a game and therefore fun! Nothing was impossible - we just needed help from out parents or friends.

Our Father's Kingdom is just like that. Life is meant to be fun and joyful and free... We are meant to attempt the 'impossible' with His help and resources. But it's not about the accomplishment or the doing - it's about the journey, the adventure, the relationship. He wants us to have fun and enjoy life with Him.

We need to have faith like a child... God, we believe - help our unbelief! Un-teach our skewed perceptions of You and the world, and teach us Truth again. Increase my faith, so that I may see Your face.

on paint and decisions...

So I've been thinking a lot recently... about my life, about what I'm going to do.

April wasn't the best month for me. My opportunity to go back to Denver came and went, and the stubborn little girl in me stomped her foot and folded her arms with a bit of a sulky face. I had my room to re-do, which took longer than expected, but is finally done, and looks rather wonderful I must say.

I really struggled to decide what colour/s to paint it. Someone recommended mushroom to me, and I thought 'what the heck, it's safe, neutral, expected, and comes recommended'. Whilst out looking for paint, I couldn't find the 'mushroom' I was looking for, so decided to try different random paint combinations. Ended up with a chocolate brown, dark teal and bright red as well as various shades of beige/mushroom ish colours. I put a little swab of each up on a section of the wall. Honestly, any of them  would have been fine... I just needed to decide which one and get on with it. I couldn't do anything else or make any other decisions (about bedding, curtains etc) until I had decided on paint.

Funnily enough, this felt like a metaphor for the rest of my life too. University was the safe, neural, well approved and recommended option. It was the plan, until I decided to go out and try something new, because I couldn't find the right course. Then I discovered YWAM, and it felt right, but was also rather bold and a little scary, and not quite so well thought of or understood by everyone I knew. Now I was facing that decision again: go back to YWAM and have a lot of people think I'm a little crazy, or go the safe route and go to university...

With the paint, I kinda liked the dark brown and a lighter teal more than the mushroom, but was scared, cause it was kinda bold, and a lot of people who I asked said it might be a bit much. But I liked it. It was different, and felt more like me. More adventurous, unique. I realised this one night: that I knew I had to make a decision in both areas of my life, and couldn't really do much else until that decision was made.

I ended up going for the dark brown and lighter teal. One wall chocolate, the other two a calming sea green/blue. Turned out really nicely. Oddly enough, I also decided that I'm going to go back to Denver for the School of Ministry Development (SOMD/Phase 2) in September. Tickets booked, decided.

It's actually amazing how great it feels to have finally made a decision. I guess part of me always hoped/knew that that was what I was going to decide, but the rest of me was freaked out because of what that actually entails and what will possibly result from this decision. It's super exciting and a little scary as well. As with all things God-related, faith is very much needed. I need to trust Him with this all, and not to worry about what will happen after this all.

I think it was really important for me to have been home for a while, to really weigh my options and reason for wanting to go back to Denver again. Yes, it will be wonderful to be back there with my other family, but it is so much more than that. I am more convinced than ever that this is going to be the stepping stone into the inheritance God has for me on this earth. Which is why I need this time at home too, to really get set deep and strong in Him before heading back out. I grew SO much last year, in many big ways. But honestly, this time at home so far has probably been some of the more trying months I've been through, and I've also noticed so much growth already. Not noticeable, but definitely a deepening, strengthening, assuring growth. It's really hard to describe, but it's so good.

There is so much more to write about this, but that can wait for another post... So may God bless you in amazing ways today, and make you aware of His presence. Open up your heart and mind to noticing where He is at work around you and join in!

revelation at 12.30am...

So last night/this morning, at 12.30am ish, this is what happened...

I was reading my devotional note things, and the question was asked: "Did God create us that we might love Him or that He might love us?" Seemed profound, so I posted it as my Facebook status, and as I did, it mulled around in my mind a bit. I thought maybe it was just one of those rhetorical questions to make you think, but then 1 John 4:19 came to mind: "We love because He first loved us". This made me stop and think...

So if we love, because He loves us, then we can't have been created to love Him, because our love is as a result of His love. Our purpose is to be loved by God. We love not out of duty, but in response to His love. This is probably why performance doesn't work. We can't earn God's love or approval or the joy that comes from being loved by Him. If our purpose was simply to love God and He'd love us in return if we got it right, then we'd get nowhere and have little joy or freedom or motivation, which is honestly the place that many people have ended up in as a result of this mindset that our purpose in life is to love God.

It's is such a subtle difference, but what if our purpose is simply to be loved by God and to let Him love us, and out of that flows the fulfillment, joy and freedom long for... It's something we cannot earn, rather need to learn to receive, and freely receiving, we freely give. Being loved so completely leaves little room or even thought of doing anything other than loving others as fully, that they too may experience His great love and the fulfillment and pure joy that comes.

This absolutely blows my mind! We were made to receive love, which is why we so often go looking for it in all the wrong places and aren't satisfied. Only His love will satisfy, because it is His love that we were made to receive and live in and live off of. His love is complete and perfect. He is love. His very nature, His character, His being... love personified, exemplified and crucified. It makes so much sense when you look at how screwed up the world is, and that the root of all of it is this very issue: we need God's love.

We were made to be loved by Him, and the only response possible when faced with such love is to respond in kind. I don't know if you've ever had a revelation or life-changing encounter with God's love, but if you had, you wouldn't be the same. You'd know what it's like to have to tell others, to share it, because it is just too wonderful to keep all to yourself. It's the kind of love that wants to be passed on and shared, because then it grows and flourishes and so many more people get blessed. It's one of those weird things about the Kingdom:  you only really get to keep what you give away. Part of the blessing of giving is seeing someone else experience what you got to experience, and encouraging them to share it too. It's contagious :)

I pray that God will completely blow your mind with a new and greater revelation of His love... that His love would become so real and overwhelming and huge that you can't help up have to want to share it, because you wan't contain it. Loving God who is Love, let Your love rain down on us, and help us to accept and receive Your love which You long so much to express. Thank You for Your love, and that we cannot earn it, only receive it and share it and love You back by doing so. Amen!