Flip man, I just love helping and loving people! Tonight's sermon was on 'evangelism'. I don't like that term, cause it's too Christianesey. It's not some spiritual thing - it's just being a friend to others, and telling them about your best Friend who happens to also want to be their Friend too :) It's all about love.
They offered to pray for people after the service if you wanted, to do with the whole 'evangelism' and going out and telling others about our Jesus. So I was just chilling with God, but got that annoying feeling when God's like 'hey, that's you'. Silly me tried to reason out of going up, 'cause I've been prayed for before for this kinda thing, so I don't really need to again. Sure sign it's God when you start to reason yourself out of it. Haha. After this happening a lot, I've gotten used to recognising this, so I was like, really God? And He, in His wonderful humour, said 'Just get your butt up there and get prayed for.' So I did, and realised that it was about the obedience, and that if I say I will go for God, I need to start now. It was awesome - such peace and God saying 'See, not so bad? You silly, lovely girl'.
After church, we headed over to Spur (local burger restaurant), but found it closed, so went to Mc Donalds instead. We walked past two guys on the way in who greeted us, so I greeted them back, asked how they were and they commented on how cold it was. Small talk. We went inside, and I was like - what the heck, let's buy them coffee. So I did. Went outside to give it to them, and almost walked away at that, but stayed and talked to them.
It was such a blessing to see their immense gratitude for a cup of coffee. They asked my name, and told me 'God bless you', when I was the one trying to bless them. Nice one God! I asked their names, and what they do. Peter and Andile wash cars in the parking lot outside the shopping center, but because it was raining today, they hadn't made enough money to buy bread for their family. They were waiting there in the cold, hoping for someone to buy them bread, so they could finally go home to their families. How could I not buy them bread too? Man, were they grateful! Peter said that he was amazed by how kind I was - that there aren't many people who will stop and talk to them, and that I offered without them having to ask. He said He would pray for me before he goes to bed tonight and thank God for me. Flip man! How challenging! So I offered to pray for them, which they received so gladly.
Ended up finding out that Peter had been to Pinelands Baptist Church once before, but everyone had given him weird looks, like wondering why a beggar was there, and that it had hurt him. That made me so sad - and ashamed to represent that, but honoured to get to improve his opinion. He commented on how many Christians believe in their head, but not in their heart and with their lives - so true! He told me that doesn't go to church at the moment, but that he still read his Bible, and wanted to help other people in his situation to learn to rely on God like he does, maybe even preach in a church one day!
It was such a beautiful encounter - just meeting a simple need of hot coffee on a warm night, and listening to their story. It was no inconvenience to me really at all - just a little bit of my time. But there is no place I would rather be when Jesus returns, than loving and helping people. It was such a blessing to me, and I'm sure to Peter and Andile too. Praise God for His extravagant grace and love that is so infectious, and that will permeate culture, life and the entire earth!
Sunday, August 21, 2011
about the essence of God...
So I've been thinking about that Holy Spirit thing a lot :) I quite like that part of the trinity. Not really sure whether to call 'it' a Him or a Her, cause the Hebrew form is feminine, but I tend to default to to masculine when it comes to God.
Anyways, when watching 'Furious Love' the other week (which I highly recommend, cause it blew my mind), one of the guys said something about 'Holy' being God's first name - the name for every day use, the one people call you by. Your surname is for formal things, but is also the part that belongs to you (the speaker put it much more elegantly, but that will suffice). We call Him 'Holy', because that is who He is.
I then got to thinking about the Spirit part... It seems kinda abstract, which it is, but then I remembered that we also use that term to describe the essence of something. 'There was such a spirit of love in that place' or 'they have a gentle spirit' - it describes the essence of a thing. So the Spirit of God is the essence of who God is: Holy Spirit.
God is holy. It's that word that is used to describe the other-ness of God. We can't really describe it with our little words and vocabulary, but it's what sums it all up, once all our words are gone. God is love, just, gentle, caring, comforting, powerful, mighty etc etc... and holy. In Revelation 4:8, those who are in His presence day and night continually cry out 'holy holy holy is the LORD God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come'. If you were in the presence of GOD... woah! I'm not even sure I'd find the words to say anything at all! But once that had passed, to try and express and praise who God is - that's when 'Holy' is the only word that you can repeat, because it sums up God's God-ness, His other-ness. His essence.
Then it hit me that we have this Holy Spirit living inside of us! Flip that sent me on a mini tailspin just thinking about the enormity of that! We - sinful, miniature, scummish, little humans - have the Spirit of the living God in us. The essence of who God is, rests upon us, dwells within us, fills and empowers us... FLIP!! Now if that doesn't shake something inside of you, I don't know what will. I am so ridiculously humbled, awed, blessed and relieved all at once. I have the essence of God - His holiness, His Holy Spirit - dwelling in me, helping, empowering, teaching, guiding, counselling, comforting me... So Jesus is God made visible - God with us, and the Holy Spirit is God in us. Yeah, I think that's pretty cool, to say the very least :)
I'm not sure how to end this post, since it's one of those stare-into-the-humungousness-of-God-and-realise-how-freaking-small-I-am-and-how-great-He-is moments. Honestly, the only thing I can think to do is try to express my gratitude to this immense, Holy God. He is making me into His likeness - making me like Him, and He has placed the essence of who He is in me, to help me to do the seemingly impossible - change.
Anyways, when watching 'Furious Love' the other week (which I highly recommend, cause it blew my mind), one of the guys said something about 'Holy' being God's first name - the name for every day use, the one people call you by. Your surname is for formal things, but is also the part that belongs to you (the speaker put it much more elegantly, but that will suffice). We call Him 'Holy', because that is who He is.
I then got to thinking about the Spirit part... It seems kinda abstract, which it is, but then I remembered that we also use that term to describe the essence of something. 'There was such a spirit of love in that place' or 'they have a gentle spirit' - it describes the essence of a thing. So the Spirit of God is the essence of who God is: Holy Spirit.
God is holy. It's that word that is used to describe the other-ness of God. We can't really describe it with our little words and vocabulary, but it's what sums it all up, once all our words are gone. God is love, just, gentle, caring, comforting, powerful, mighty etc etc... and holy. In Revelation 4:8, those who are in His presence day and night continually cry out 'holy holy holy is the LORD God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come'. If you were in the presence of GOD... woah! I'm not even sure I'd find the words to say anything at all! But once that had passed, to try and express and praise who God is - that's when 'Holy' is the only word that you can repeat, because it sums up God's God-ness, His other-ness. His essence.
Then it hit me that we have this Holy Spirit living inside of us! Flip that sent me on a mini tailspin just thinking about the enormity of that! We - sinful, miniature, scummish, little humans - have the Spirit of the living God in us. The essence of who God is, rests upon us, dwells within us, fills and empowers us... FLIP!! Now if that doesn't shake something inside of you, I don't know what will. I am so ridiculously humbled, awed, blessed and relieved all at once. I have the essence of God - His holiness, His Holy Spirit - dwelling in me, helping, empowering, teaching, guiding, counselling, comforting me... So Jesus is God made visible - God with us, and the Holy Spirit is God in us. Yeah, I think that's pretty cool, to say the very least :)
I'm not sure how to end this post, since it's one of those stare-into-the-humungousness-of-God-and-realise-how-freaking-small-I-am-and-how-great-He-is moments. Honestly, the only thing I can think to do is try to express my gratitude to this immense, Holy God. He is making me into His likeness - making me like Him, and He has placed the essence of who He is in me, to help me to do the seemingly impossible - change.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
a little bit of artsy...
I did art classes on a Tuesday afternoon all the way through junior school. I did art in grade 8 and 9 because I had to. I never thought I was much good, and I never really had much time to put in to trying many new things or styles. I was too much of a perfectionist and too scared to really try anything, because I was scared it wouldn't be good enough or as good as everyone else. So I never really did much with art.
Until this year... One afternoon, I was super emotional and frustrated, so I dug out some canvases, old paint and really old brushes, and painted. It wasn't bad for a first attempt on canvas, but nothing particularly amazing. It was a start.
After that, I felt like I could actually try this whole art thing. What the heck, let's just give it a try. So I went and bought myself a little canvas, and painted a tree type thing, and did some other random things on pieces of cardboard I had around.
For the kids holiday club run at our church in Pinelands (PBC), the theme was Superheroes, so we decorated the walls with paintings of superheroes etc. I went along to help, and 4 hours later, I had painted this life-size Spider-man, much to my own surprise. I didn't think I'd actually be able to, but I did.
For my birthday, I was given some proper paintbrushes, more paint and some canvases. Here's what I did with them:
So I have very much surprised myself in what I can do when I just give it a try. I love the transition from abstract, to more impressionistic, to more realistic. It has been so much fun just sitting down, and painting, and seeing what turns out. It is a wonderful way to express myself, and create. After all, I am made in the image of the Creator God :)
Until this year... One afternoon, I was super emotional and frustrated, so I dug out some canvases, old paint and really old brushes, and painted. It wasn't bad for a first attempt on canvas, but nothing particularly amazing. It was a start.
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| First canvas paintings: 16 April 2011 |
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For the kids holiday club run at our church in Pinelands (PBC), the theme was Superheroes, so we decorated the walls with paintings of superheroes etc. I went along to help, and 4 hours later, I had painted this life-size Spider-man, much to my own surprise. I didn't think I'd actually be able to, but I did.
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| 17 June 2011 |
For my birthday, I was given some proper paintbrushes, more paint and some canvases. Here's what I did with them:
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| 21 July 2011 |
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| 3 August 2011 |
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| 6 August 2011 |
Monday, August 15, 2011
matters of the heart...
One of the annoying things with this lifestyle of faith that I have chosen, is that it hurts. I knew it would. And I know that God is and always will be enough. But there are still moments when my heart aches. All I can do in those moments is run to my Dad, bury my face in His chest and know that He holds me and loves me.
In the last year and a half, I have moved almost 20 times. It's really hard having to be uprooted from where you are - the comfort and familiarity, the support system, friendships, love and the known. It's hard to come into a new place and learn to find and create those things again. It's hard to have to uproot from that again - often right after you've established some sense of 'home'.
As you can guess, the idea of 'home' has changed a lot for me. That saying 'home is where the heart is', has never been more meaningful. But what if a little bit of my heart is in each of those places, with all the people I love all over the world? Simply, my heart is in God, and God is everywhere, so my heart can then be everywhere too. Not sure if that makes sense to you, but it does to me. Instead of feeling my my heart is fracturing into a million pieces, it somehow expands into a stretchy bubble of God-love that can surpass distance so easily.
That makes it a little bit easier, but being a bit of a quality time person, not being able to really spend time with people kinda sucks. Everyone always says they'll keep in contact, but it just doesn't always happen. Life carries on. I have to realise that some friends are just for a season. Another thing I struggle with is that if I'm just going to uproot again, then what's the point in settling, investing and connecting? Surely if I don't, I'll save myself the pain of having to leave and say goodbye? Yes, but I'll also rob myself of the amazing friendships and memories that I could have had. As a friend of mine once put it, you need to learn to keep your heart where your feet are. To invest where you are, now. Yes, dream, hope and plan for the future, but it is so uncertain. The past is gone. Now is all you really have. So make the most of it.
With all that said, I can feel that uprooting process starting. It's 6 weeks until I'll be in Denver, starting the School of Ministry Development (SOMD) with YWAM Denver. I am extremely excited, because this school has been on my heart since I did my DTS at the beginning of last year. But every time I was deciding about what to do next and SOMD came up, God always said 'not yet...'. During my time at home this year, I have had to really look at why I want to do this school, and weigh up all the options. It's been flip hard, but I now know that this is what is next for me.
Sure I still don't know what will happen afterwards, but God is ridiculously faithful, good and loving, and He is leading me towards a glorious destiny in Him :) I like to plan things and have my ducks in a row, so obviously, as part of me having to learn to trust Him, He is not letting me in on much more than the next step. This is a tad frustrating, but I know it's so good. After all, I'd probably freak out if I knew what it was that me and Him are going to do together!
Another thing about this whole uprooting thing, is that I'm pretty much alone in it. Yes I have and will meet amazing people wherever I go, but the only constant One will be God. Yes, I long for the day when I have a husband to go and do all this stuff with - someone to share this adventure with. It would make the uprooting process less painful, knowing one person would be with me still. As much as I look forward to that, I am also trusting God with all my heart, because He knows what He's doing there too. And I know that it will be SO worth the wait!
I have also been blessed to be able to worship with United Pursuit twice this last week, which was such a blessing having them here in Cape Town. One of their songs that forever gets me goes like this:
How great is our God, that He is mindful of me! He knows my name, and loves me more than I could ever know
In the last year and a half, I have moved almost 20 times. It's really hard having to be uprooted from where you are - the comfort and familiarity, the support system, friendships, love and the known. It's hard to come into a new place and learn to find and create those things again. It's hard to have to uproot from that again - often right after you've established some sense of 'home'.
As you can guess, the idea of 'home' has changed a lot for me. That saying 'home is where the heart is', has never been more meaningful. But what if a little bit of my heart is in each of those places, with all the people I love all over the world? Simply, my heart is in God, and God is everywhere, so my heart can then be everywhere too. Not sure if that makes sense to you, but it does to me. Instead of feeling my my heart is fracturing into a million pieces, it somehow expands into a stretchy bubble of God-love that can surpass distance so easily.
That makes it a little bit easier, but being a bit of a quality time person, not being able to really spend time with people kinda sucks. Everyone always says they'll keep in contact, but it just doesn't always happen. Life carries on. I have to realise that some friends are just for a season. Another thing I struggle with is that if I'm just going to uproot again, then what's the point in settling, investing and connecting? Surely if I don't, I'll save myself the pain of having to leave and say goodbye? Yes, but I'll also rob myself of the amazing friendships and memories that I could have had. As a friend of mine once put it, you need to learn to keep your heart where your feet are. To invest where you are, now. Yes, dream, hope and plan for the future, but it is so uncertain. The past is gone. Now is all you really have. So make the most of it.
With all that said, I can feel that uprooting process starting. It's 6 weeks until I'll be in Denver, starting the School of Ministry Development (SOMD) with YWAM Denver. I am extremely excited, because this school has been on my heart since I did my DTS at the beginning of last year. But every time I was deciding about what to do next and SOMD came up, God always said 'not yet...'. During my time at home this year, I have had to really look at why I want to do this school, and weigh up all the options. It's been flip hard, but I now know that this is what is next for me.
Sure I still don't know what will happen afterwards, but God is ridiculously faithful, good and loving, and He is leading me towards a glorious destiny in Him :) I like to plan things and have my ducks in a row, so obviously, as part of me having to learn to trust Him, He is not letting me in on much more than the next step. This is a tad frustrating, but I know it's so good. After all, I'd probably freak out if I knew what it was that me and Him are going to do together!
Another thing about this whole uprooting thing, is that I'm pretty much alone in it. Yes I have and will meet amazing people wherever I go, but the only constant One will be God. Yes, I long for the day when I have a husband to go and do all this stuff with - someone to share this adventure with. It would make the uprooting process less painful, knowing one person would be with me still. As much as I look forward to that, I am also trusting God with all my heart, because He knows what He's doing there too. And I know that it will be SO worth the wait!
I have also been blessed to be able to worship with United Pursuit twice this last week, which was such a blessing having them here in Cape Town. One of their songs that forever gets me goes like this:
I lean not on my own understanding;One of my other favourites is written from God to me:
my life is in the Hands of the Maker of heaven
I give it all to You, God,
trusting that You'll make something beautiful out of me
I will climb this mountain with my hands wide open
There's nothing I hold onto
come away with Me
come away
it's never to late
it's never to late
it's not to late for you
I have a plan for you
I have a plan
it's gonna be wild
it's gonna be great
it's gonna be full of Me
so open up your heart and let Me in
How great is our God, that He is mindful of me! He knows my name, and loves me more than I could ever know
Tuesday, August 09, 2011
anticipation for what is to come...
I'm sure you've felt it - the sense that something is coming... We are at the brink of something huge... the point of no return.
A time is coming and is almost upon when finally there will be no half heartedness and people will stand up and be counted for what they believe. I will be one of them. I don't care what it costs, because He gave it all already. Any 'sacrifice' is nothing compared to what He has given. I do this all so that He may receive the reward for His suffering.
I will follow Him wherever He goes, wherever He leads I will follow. I will be obedient. I will go against what everyone else thinks should be and what is 'normal'. I don't want normal; I just want Jesus! I don't care what happens to me, because I know my Jesus, and He knows me. I will live recklessly abandoned for my God, because of who He is and who He has called me to be. I will embrace Him and truly live. Where, for how long and who with, I don't know, but I know that it will all be for His glory. Cause at the end of the day, this life is meaningless if it isn't with, for and about Him. He is everything.
There's a movement happening all over the planet - revival is coming. There is resistance, but like the refining fire that separates gold, only the real stuff will remain. I want to be a part of what is about to happen. I don't want to just hear about it and wish I could have seen it and been part of it. I don't want to come to the end of this life with regrets for not having risked more. Most people on their dying beds don't wish they'd risked less or lived safer - they wish they'd risked more and really lived.
I'm one of those crazy people who say that for me to live is all about God, and to die is even better because then I get to see Him face to face. This is my life, and I will live it for Him.
This video connected with me so powerfully and is my heart's cry. This is what is coming. This is the movement of people who will change the world. Will you be one of them?
A time is coming and is almost upon when finally there will be no half heartedness and people will stand up and be counted for what they believe. I will be one of them. I don't care what it costs, because He gave it all already. Any 'sacrifice' is nothing compared to what He has given. I do this all so that He may receive the reward for His suffering.
I will follow Him wherever He goes, wherever He leads I will follow. I will be obedient. I will go against what everyone else thinks should be and what is 'normal'. I don't want normal; I just want Jesus! I don't care what happens to me, because I know my Jesus, and He knows me. I will live recklessly abandoned for my God, because of who He is and who He has called me to be. I will embrace Him and truly live. Where, for how long and who with, I don't know, but I know that it will all be for His glory. Cause at the end of the day, this life is meaningless if it isn't with, for and about Him. He is everything.
There's a movement happening all over the planet - revival is coming. There is resistance, but like the refining fire that separates gold, only the real stuff will remain. I want to be a part of what is about to happen. I don't want to just hear about it and wish I could have seen it and been part of it. I don't want to come to the end of this life with regrets for not having risked more. Most people on their dying beds don't wish they'd risked less or lived safer - they wish they'd risked more and really lived.
I'm one of those crazy people who say that for me to live is all about God, and to die is even better because then I get to see Him face to face. This is my life, and I will live it for Him.
This video connected with me so powerfully and is my heart's cry. This is what is coming. This is the movement of people who will change the world. Will you be one of them?
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